I Hate Them
Damn. I feel sad for some reason. This happens to me alot. Random sadness from nowhere. I don't really want to be cheered up but, it sucks. I really want to get this band moving. I feel so sad and I don't know why. I feel sadder with every passing minute. The last time I felt like this I wanted to talk to my (I guess) "friend" Malissa about it, but I couldn't get her phone number. Now, I just want to be around someone. I don't know or care who. I tried listening to happy music but it made it worse. I don't want to put on metal because... well I don't know. I have to find something or someone that might explain this issue. Eh by the time any of you read this the feeling will have probably passed. I just feel lost. I need a map and maybe a cigarette. I hate memories. Dwelling in the past distracts from the present but they are inevetable. They shoot from the back of my brain like fucking automatic pistols. I hate them. I hate them so much. Any memory from my best pals in Washington, to standing in the fucking street waiting for my ex, to breaking amps in my garage last week. I just want to stop being sad. Angry, happy, stoned; I will take anything over sad right now.
Ten Minutes Later
I swear, if I didn't like my instument as much as I do, I would quit this fucking band. Renne and Miguel (lead and bass) were the only ones to show up to saturday's practice. And we decide since we've got some stuff done we'll go see Andrew. We get there and they decide they want to replace Matt (rythm) with Andrew! I was like "Well guys, thats messed up, besides, either of them have a guitar so it doesn't matter." And they were like "C'mon *****, you know it doesn't matter, you said so your self. Matt has only been to like two out of eight practices. At least we know Andrew can make it." So I was forced into that one. Then on the way back to my house they stopped to make a cell phone call so I just went ahead. Ten minutes later they show up in my garage with Miguels cousin, Carlos. This is no problem for me, Carlos is cool. The poblem occurs when Renne aproaches me and says "We have decided to replace Erick (Vocals) with Carlos." And I said "We didn't even give these guys a fair trial! Lets see what happens next practice." which isn't till the seventh. So we agreed on that and then, over the phone Erick guessed what was up, and said he didn't care, but he is my best friend I can't let him drop the band so said of he dropped the band I'll never pick up drumsticks again. Then we were on three way with Renne and this is Now the band: Bass:Miguel, Lead guitar: Renne, Rythm Guitar: Erick, Vocals: Carlos, and Lead Drums (as we call it lol): Me. We totally eliminated Matt and Andrew. Welcome back Anarchy!
I Just Don't Understand
Yeah, yesterday was muh birthday. Whoop dee do. Well there isn't going to be band practice this week so you guys won't read me gripeing about those dicklicks. Well I have a MyFace (MySpace) and the adress is on my webpage, wich is in my profile. Just go to my webpage, and click "Links" if any of you want to check it out. I may get the ultimate chrismas/birthday present. I might go to Washington state so see my best friend Josh. And I don't care if I don't get any other presents. I would trade them all in to see him. Changing the subject; Does anybody ever wonder how shallow people function? I just don't understand. And I realized that I don't understand when I reflected on all of the times I have been standing next to some on and they say. "Eew, hes ugly!" And I'm like, "What the hell makes him ugly? That just looks like a guy to me." And I found out that people are only beautiful to me, if they are pretty on the inside. I judge inner beauty. I wish all people could.
Speaking (Writing) Of
Well Today is another practice day. I talked to everyone in the band on Friday and each one of them said individually that they can make it, but I have no doubt in my mind that right before noon, right before they have to be in my garage, one or more of them will call and say "Sorry *****, but I can't make it. I have to...." It pisses me off. We have not had on fucking practice where we all showed up. But whatever. Yeah, Anarchy... if your reading this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear (read) that. I really am. I wish I could do something. Changing the subject: I have realized and accepted that I am still bent over Jaycee. I thnk a lot of you know who that is. I don't think she is, since she had a serious relationship before I came along, but she is my first so yeah. Speaking (writing) of girlfriends, the "Red Freckles" girl, is going to be named Stacia. Anyhoot, I took a suggestion to try to win her over, but I don't know how. Open for suggestions.
